Where do you put your trust?
Is it in yourself? In others? How about in God?
A recent journey has shown me that I place trust in all of the above. Trusting others is healthy. Trust after all is the foundation for a healthy and loving relationship. I am learning that trusting everyone with your heart and emotions is not something to be so open with...and...that my Mom is right.
I find it interesting that as a woman, women as a whole can be loving and nurturing or on the flip side..hurtful, mean, and well...spiteful. Now, not all are like this.....maybe just ones who need to do a self adjustment and work on their own issues first.
Judge others? Are you ready to cast the first stone when living in a glass house? If the tables were turned, would you want to be treated as you treat others?
Do not judge....its not your place. Leave that for God.
Do unto others....treat others as you would want to be treated. You want love in your life? Live life with love and it will be returned 10 fold.
There really are different levels and kinds of love. Having been married and happily divorced, I can see that love is different from love I have towards family, friends, and dating others. Love for God is an entirely different level. The absolute highest. So when you find that love in another......what would you do? Embrace it? Treat it so gingerly.....like a new rosebud. Fragile yet painful. I learned when the feelings I had were not softened...and that one has retreated. Absolutely respect his space and where he needs to be. What will happen? That my friends....that is in the hands of God.
I am totally at His mercy.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Did I fall off the blog planet?
I see it has been some time since I checked in on ye 'ole blog here. Will not be a stranger, I promise. Let's catch up shall we?
What have I been doing since August? A whole list of things. I broke the topics out in sections to be more reader friendly in case you need a break. As a lot has been happening, this is part 1 of a 2 section series.
I am still involved in Real Estate as an Investor and am waiting on a contract to go through for a rehab in much need of TLC. However, that is not where the real passion and excitement is...so let's move on to those topics shall we?
Nutrition/Health
I have always had a strong interest in any topic related to health, fitness, and nutrition. Mags you see around my house are usually cycling, running, or fitness magazines vs gossip. As you may recall, Jan 09 I graduated from Massage Therapy school. While in school, I knew I would be doing something different with my education and already had plans to apply to UIC for a BS in a Sports Medicine related field.
Fortunately, because of school, I was able to work the 2008 Chicago Marathon as a MT in the recovery tent. I talked to all the runners that came across the table, mainly related to their run, how they were feeling, and checking in on their hydration levels. There was one runner who came over to our table and happily hopped on for a 15 minute rub down and stretch. However, there was something very different about this runner in comparison to others. Was it his level of extreme happiness? A glowing level of positive energy that seemed to surround him? That he felt great after running 26 miles in a time of 3:38? Which by the way is incredible time! Maybe it was a combo of all the above? What he probably didn't know is that I had a big smile because of all of the previously mentioned. Absolutely refreshing energy level which was noticed by a fellow classmate and friend working on a runner at the next table.
I vividly recall a label peeling off in my hand that was on his shirt. Naturally this struck up a conversation due to my inquisitive nature. What was it at one time? Was he sponsored by a company to run? I had just finished Tour DVA a month prior, so was this similar...to raise money for charity? It was a label of the nutritional products he trained with, uses every day, and also markets. Hmmmm....interesting and of course my brain spun almost as fast as Lance rides Tour de France.
You see, a few months before, I broke up with GNC. Yes. Broke up. We had a very unhealthy win-lose relationship. Every month, I purchased multivitamins that gave me zero results, except for the neon-green/yellow coloring in my urine. I laughed at the GNC rep who said that was a sign to tell me that the vitamins are "working." Ok, seriously, I know I may have been talking with a bit of a Southern accent, but I certainly did not fall off the turnip truck yesterday!
After the break up, I checked out a vitamin specific store who in theory was more "holistic." I was very excited and hopeful that spending nearly $300 for most of what I needed would be my answer. After all, if I spent a lot of money at a holistic store, that means it will work.......right? A few days later, I became another disappointed consumer and never took the vitamins again due to the extreme amount of time being unnaturally sick over them. I only say unnatural because the body in theory should not be reacting to a vitamin as a toxin if taking the recommended amount. Don't you think that seems a little odd? Vitamins are good for us, right? So, I took a break from finding the perfect vitamin/supplement relationship and stayed with my trusty bottle of Nanogreens and some form of a Fish oil supp from the gym. Couple that with glutamine and you have the supplements I used while training for Tour DVA.
Now it makes sense why my head was spinning when I was talking to this unique runner. We exchanged emails for a follow up since unfortunately his time was up and I had to keep the line flowing. The few classmates that were with me were excited and when I clued them in on the discussion, they became intrigued. Fast forward a few months later. I did my due diligence and researched the products and found that this was the answer to my eternal quest for finding the most ideal long term relationship, marriage if you will, of my body and a vitamin/supplement that will provide what she needs to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle. I know....a mouthful... but that is what it felt like! You've seen Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. If you will, this was to me, the Holy Grail of supplements.
Why did I bring all this up? So you can get an understanding of where I was 13 months ago. When I was laid off in August, I took this as a sign and opportunity to follow my dreams and passions. You are only given so many chances to follow your dreams. Personally, following them now vs at retirement is much more appealing. Yes, I transitioned from a Consumer, who loved the Holy Grail of supplements, to an Associate which gives me a greater ability to spread the wealth of knowledge to others. A total win-win for everyone!
Diving/Marine Biology/Conservation efforts
Something I have always been in love with is the ocean and sharks. Ever since I saw Jaws as a kid, I have always been fascinated by sharks. When we were at the Cape for summer vacation, I always looked for the majestic Great White. When cable and Discovery were created, a show called Shark Week became the most fascinating thing for me to watch. When I was a kid, I always thought diving was for people like Jacques Cousteau. Boy I was wrong!
Fast-forward to college, I went to Central America for a month long backpacking trip, and yes, I even received credit for the class. At the time, my focus was Wildlife Biology, to study primates, with intention to go to VaTech. While in Roatan, Honduras, I was snorkeling off the Belize Reef and saw 3 divers 30 feet below on a reef shelf. Excited, I asked a few friends about diving and even some of the locals. Although I was offered 2 jobs to stay in Roatan, I felt it would have been wise to fly home to DC since I enjoyed my life as I had it. My parents would have flown down and picked me up, but would have given me the lifelong guilt trip so learned by many generations of Irish Catholics. I switched majors, picked up a college class for Scuba Diving, and moved to Va Beach 6 months later where I worked at the aquarium as a shark feeder.
On the path to a degree in Marine Biology, with a job lined up in the Keys as a Dive Master, and 3000 dives logged under my belt by 30, life happened and everything was put on hold for 10 years. Over those years, many life lessons happened. Difficult? Yes. For a reason? Absolutely. Happy now? You betcha Norm!(think Fargo) I find myself in a position now to follow those dreams further and in different ways then I originally planned 12 years ago.
Over the past year, a dive shop opened up a mile down the street. The first time I stopped in, I stayed for hours talking to the owners about diving and finishing my certifications through Dive Instructor. In a few months, when the lakes thaw out, I will be completing my Rescue Diver certification. Swimming 800 m is not my concern. Pulling a 250 lb man out of the water is. While waiting for the deep thaw, I hooked up with some fellow divers on Facebook. I joined and started a few campaigns for shark, dolphin, and whale conservation efforts. Yes, I will go into this in detail at another time. I began talking to the webmaster of The Shedd Aquarium who sent my info to a lovely lady in the conservation dept. Although she loves my ideas and passion, there are no open positions. However, she wanted to be sure I could get involved immediately and sent me to the volunteer coordinator. He and I exchanged emails and I was offered a volunteer position giving me the ability to speak to the public, providing education about the animals and how we can make changes in the world. Sunday morning, I go down for an interview to go over all the details. So even though my life took a minor derailment, which landed me in the Mid-West, far away from any ocean, I persisted until I succeeded and most definitely am not only making the best of it, but am by far the happiest I have been....ever!
I am now in the process of submitting everything to UIC, transcripts pending, so I can finish my BS in Biology and Nutrition with a minor in Photography....another lifelong passion.
There is more to tell you, reader. But the hour is late, and this is an exceptionally long blog. Tune in next time for the next major update. You will likey!!
What have I been doing since August? A whole list of things. I broke the topics out in sections to be more reader friendly in case you need a break. As a lot has been happening, this is part 1 of a 2 section series.
I am still involved in Real Estate as an Investor and am waiting on a contract to go through for a rehab in much need of TLC. However, that is not where the real passion and excitement is...so let's move on to those topics shall we?
Nutrition/Health
I have always had a strong interest in any topic related to health, fitness, and nutrition. Mags you see around my house are usually cycling, running, or fitness magazines vs gossip. As you may recall, Jan 09 I graduated from Massage Therapy school. While in school, I knew I would be doing something different with my education and already had plans to apply to UIC for a BS in a Sports Medicine related field.
Fortunately, because of school, I was able to work the 2008 Chicago Marathon as a MT in the recovery tent. I talked to all the runners that came across the table, mainly related to their run, how they were feeling, and checking in on their hydration levels. There was one runner who came over to our table and happily hopped on for a 15 minute rub down and stretch. However, there was something very different about this runner in comparison to others. Was it his level of extreme happiness? A glowing level of positive energy that seemed to surround him? That he felt great after running 26 miles in a time of 3:38? Which by the way is incredible time! Maybe it was a combo of all the above? What he probably didn't know is that I had a big smile because of all of the previously mentioned. Absolutely refreshing energy level which was noticed by a fellow classmate and friend working on a runner at the next table.
I vividly recall a label peeling off in my hand that was on his shirt. Naturally this struck up a conversation due to my inquisitive nature. What was it at one time? Was he sponsored by a company to run? I had just finished Tour DVA a month prior, so was this similar...to raise money for charity? It was a label of the nutritional products he trained with, uses every day, and also markets. Hmmmm....interesting and of course my brain spun almost as fast as Lance rides Tour de France.
You see, a few months before, I broke up with GNC. Yes. Broke up. We had a very unhealthy win-lose relationship. Every month, I purchased multivitamins that gave me zero results, except for the neon-green/yellow coloring in my urine. I laughed at the GNC rep who said that was a sign to tell me that the vitamins are "working." Ok, seriously, I know I may have been talking with a bit of a Southern accent, but I certainly did not fall off the turnip truck yesterday!
After the break up, I checked out a vitamin specific store who in theory was more "holistic." I was very excited and hopeful that spending nearly $300 for most of what I needed would be my answer. After all, if I spent a lot of money at a holistic store, that means it will work.......right? A few days later, I became another disappointed consumer and never took the vitamins again due to the extreme amount of time being unnaturally sick over them. I only say unnatural because the body in theory should not be reacting to a vitamin as a toxin if taking the recommended amount. Don't you think that seems a little odd? Vitamins are good for us, right? So, I took a break from finding the perfect vitamin/supplement relationship and stayed with my trusty bottle of Nanogreens and some form of a Fish oil supp from the gym. Couple that with glutamine and you have the supplements I used while training for Tour DVA.
Now it makes sense why my head was spinning when I was talking to this unique runner. We exchanged emails for a follow up since unfortunately his time was up and I had to keep the line flowing. The few classmates that were with me were excited and when I clued them in on the discussion, they became intrigued. Fast forward a few months later. I did my due diligence and researched the products and found that this was the answer to my eternal quest for finding the most ideal long term relationship, marriage if you will, of my body and a vitamin/supplement that will provide what she needs to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle. I know....a mouthful... but that is what it felt like! You've seen Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. If you will, this was to me, the Holy Grail of supplements.
Why did I bring all this up? So you can get an understanding of where I was 13 months ago. When I was laid off in August, I took this as a sign and opportunity to follow my dreams and passions. You are only given so many chances to follow your dreams. Personally, following them now vs at retirement is much more appealing. Yes, I transitioned from a Consumer, who loved the Holy Grail of supplements, to an Associate which gives me a greater ability to spread the wealth of knowledge to others. A total win-win for everyone!
Diving/Marine Biology/Conservation efforts
Something I have always been in love with is the ocean and sharks. Ever since I saw Jaws as a kid, I have always been fascinated by sharks. When we were at the Cape for summer vacation, I always looked for the majestic Great White. When cable and Discovery were created, a show called Shark Week became the most fascinating thing for me to watch. When I was a kid, I always thought diving was for people like Jacques Cousteau. Boy I was wrong!
Fast-forward to college, I went to Central America for a month long backpacking trip, and yes, I even received credit for the class. At the time, my focus was Wildlife Biology, to study primates, with intention to go to VaTech. While in Roatan, Honduras, I was snorkeling off the Belize Reef and saw 3 divers 30 feet below on a reef shelf. Excited, I asked a few friends about diving and even some of the locals. Although I was offered 2 jobs to stay in Roatan, I felt it would have been wise to fly home to DC since I enjoyed my life as I had it. My parents would have flown down and picked me up, but would have given me the lifelong guilt trip so learned by many generations of Irish Catholics. I switched majors, picked up a college class for Scuba Diving, and moved to Va Beach 6 months later where I worked at the aquarium as a shark feeder.
On the path to a degree in Marine Biology, with a job lined up in the Keys as a Dive Master, and 3000 dives logged under my belt by 30, life happened and everything was put on hold for 10 years. Over those years, many life lessons happened. Difficult? Yes. For a reason? Absolutely. Happy now? You betcha Norm!(think Fargo) I find myself in a position now to follow those dreams further and in different ways then I originally planned 12 years ago.
Over the past year, a dive shop opened up a mile down the street. The first time I stopped in, I stayed for hours talking to the owners about diving and finishing my certifications through Dive Instructor. In a few months, when the lakes thaw out, I will be completing my Rescue Diver certification. Swimming 800 m is not my concern. Pulling a 250 lb man out of the water is. While waiting for the deep thaw, I hooked up with some fellow divers on Facebook. I joined and started a few campaigns for shark, dolphin, and whale conservation efforts. Yes, I will go into this in detail at another time. I began talking to the webmaster of The Shedd Aquarium who sent my info to a lovely lady in the conservation dept. Although she loves my ideas and passion, there are no open positions. However, she wanted to be sure I could get involved immediately and sent me to the volunteer coordinator. He and I exchanged emails and I was offered a volunteer position giving me the ability to speak to the public, providing education about the animals and how we can make changes in the world. Sunday morning, I go down for an interview to go over all the details. So even though my life took a minor derailment, which landed me in the Mid-West, far away from any ocean, I persisted until I succeeded and most definitely am not only making the best of it, but am by far the happiest I have been....ever!
I am now in the process of submitting everything to UIC, transcripts pending, so I can finish my BS in Biology and Nutrition with a minor in Photography....another lifelong passion.
There is more to tell you, reader. But the hour is late, and this is an exceptionally long blog. Tune in next time for the next major update. You will likey!!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Fear of Success, Fear of the Unknown
Laid off Aug 3, I've had friends and family alike ask me, " Mo, what are you going to do? Do you have a job lined up? " I informed them that I have been working with a Real Estate Investor group since March doing marketing. Now that I am laid off from a JOB, I can finally have the freedom to be doing REI and Marketing full time! In one month, I have been able to learn so much more then I ever did since March. When I tell them this, there is confusion, some are excited but mainly confused. When I get into more detail about REI, some have fear, some excited, some still confused. Now I get asked " Are you looking for a job? " That is my favorite to respond to. Why would I look for a job when I can create financial independence. Will a job give me that? No. If I did not know about this group, I would be screwed because of having to sign a non-compete clause, for my severance, which prevents me from going back in the same field for 6 months. Fortunately, the questions have silenced for a little bit. Now friends are sending me properties to look in to.
Now, the ultimate question. Why Fear? Why be afraid of working hard and creating your own success? Is it because of fear of failure? Maybe it is fear of the unknown. It is amazing the levels of self-doubt, those who have such a low self esteem that a job is the ideal situation for them. Someone else tells them what to do, what time to work, when to take a lunch break, how to dress, etc.
Ever since I was a kid, I told my parents doing what you love is more important then doing a job for money. I don't view what I do now as a job. I love it and it creates financial freedom for me while helping others get out of a sticky financial situation. Not to mention, in my free time, I can scuba dive and start volunteering at The Shedd aquarium as a diver! Total dream job for the diver in me.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/14659-handling-fear-of-success/
If you want to succeed, you believe it, you work for it, and you just do it. But, if there is the smallest amount of self-doubt, it will come up. Choose your attitude, choose it wisely.
"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind."
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world you'll find,
Success begins with a fellow's will,
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can."
Arnold Palmer
Now, the ultimate question. Why Fear? Why be afraid of working hard and creating your own success? Is it because of fear of failure? Maybe it is fear of the unknown. It is amazing the levels of self-doubt, those who have such a low self esteem that a job is the ideal situation for them. Someone else tells them what to do, what time to work, when to take a lunch break, how to dress, etc.
Ever since I was a kid, I told my parents doing what you love is more important then doing a job for money. I don't view what I do now as a job. I love it and it creates financial freedom for me while helping others get out of a sticky financial situation. Not to mention, in my free time, I can scuba dive and start volunteering at The Shedd aquarium as a diver! Total dream job for the diver in me.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/14659-handling-fear-of-success/
If you want to succeed, you believe it, you work for it, and you just do it. But, if there is the smallest amount of self-doubt, it will come up. Choose your attitude, choose it wisely.
"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind."
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world you'll find,
Success begins with a fellow's will,
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can."
Arnold Palmer
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Dave Matthews Band..really kicks up the heat!
So, everyone who knows me knows what a huge fan I am of DMB. Tonight I felt the need to let Dave into my soul and fill me up..."pick me up love, from the bottom..." By far, the lyrics to Say Goodbye are just so passionate and intense...must share with you. As a Scorpio...this is my nature and what is within...intense and passion!
So here we are tonight
You and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
What's on my mind
You've got me wild
Turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
Up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make
Our passion pictures
You and me twist up
Secret creatures
And we'll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer,
Just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I'm turning and turning for you
Girl just tonight
Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tomorrow go back to your man
I'm back to my world
And we're back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight let's do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all ours
On our way here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
Tonight let's be lovers, say you will
And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love
A thing or two I have to say here
Tonight let's go all the way then
Love I'll see you,
Just for this evening
Let's strip down, trip out at this
One evening starts with a kiss
Run away
And tomorrow
Back to being friends
Lovers...love...lovers
Just for tonight, one night...love you
And tomorrow say goodbye
Love yall
Mo
So here we are tonight
You and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
What's on my mind
You've got me wild
Turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
Up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make
Our passion pictures
You and me twist up
Secret creatures
And we'll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer,
Just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I'm turning and turning for you
Girl just tonight
Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tomorrow go back to your man
I'm back to my world
And we're back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight let's do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all ours
On our way here
Tomorrow go back to being friends
Go back to being friends
Tonight let's be lovers, say you will
And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love
A thing or two I have to say here
Tonight let's go all the way then
Love I'll see you,
Just for this evening
Let's strip down, trip out at this
One evening starts with a kiss
Run away
And tomorrow
Back to being friends
Lovers...love...lovers
Just for tonight, one night...love you
And tomorrow say goodbye
Love yall
Mo
Do you believe in mulligans?
"In golf, a mulligan is a retaken swing, usually due to a previously errant one. Like gimmes, mulligans are strictly prohibited in the official rules of the game, but are commonplace in social golf. Traditionally, mulligans are allowed only on the first tee shot (usually one per round) and are not just taken at any time of the golfer's choosing. Golf tournaments held for charity may even sell mulligans to collect more money for the charity.
Some social golf games also allow one mulligan per nine holes (thus two for a round of 18).
Some golfers also allow for the "rolling mulligan," which can replace a taken mulligan shot that is no better than the original shot. In other words, the player retains his or her right to play a mulligan later in the round-- thus the "rolling."" Wikipedia
Initially I was thinking about the phrase taking a mulligan due to a situation where I let others get to me which in turn, made me not at all act like myself. Instead of being my usual laid back and easy going self, I turned into someone who was overly nervous and over thinking everything vs going with the flow. Lately I have been thinking more about this and in a much broader sense.
Life really is a series of mulligans, of do-overs. You've heard the phrases..if at first you don't succeed, try try again...or how about..if you fall off the horse, pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, and get back in the saddle again, back on the horse. Not only is life a series of do-overs but also learning lessons from those situations. I know I have used my share of mulligans and will be using more in the future.
Perhaps one of the hardest to overcome is that of a marriage that ends in divorce. I know this is the first time I have talked about my divorce openly, at least in this format. I am hoping that by speaking about it, to let you, the reader, understand me a little better and also to learn from my past. I won't call it a mistake because I don't regret it at all. I'll attempt to keep this short because I know I could go on about this. Something tells me I will be taking this offline and just journal on paper.
Looking back over the last 10 years I learned a very valuable lesson, never turn your back on your internal voice. Although, there is a reason for my experiences over the last 10 years. I believe that people are meant to come into your life for a reason and without this having happened, everything else may never have too. No, don't regret anything at all. I am still working through so many emotions I did not expect to have, but am handling them very well.
Why be bitter? That is one thing I don't understand is when a marriage ends in divorce, there is so much bitterness and hatred. Why? Things did not work out for a reason. No reason at all to be bitter, that major negative feeling makes it so you don't move on. Most see the end as a sadness, for me I see it as a happy part of my life.
Happy, yes....This is a new beginning, a new chapter, and an opportunity to truly be happy and share my life with the one man who I truly am meant to be. It would really be unfair to pursue anything serious right now since I am still going through a bit of left over emotions that I just need time to process and let go. I know the man I asked for through meditation is out there, its just a matter of me being ready for him. Of course, I know that when my internal voice speaks up, I will be listening very well.
Some social golf games also allow one mulligan per nine holes (thus two for a round of 18).
Some golfers also allow for the "rolling mulligan," which can replace a taken mulligan shot that is no better than the original shot. In other words, the player retains his or her right to play a mulligan later in the round-- thus the "rolling."" Wikipedia
Initially I was thinking about the phrase taking a mulligan due to a situation where I let others get to me which in turn, made me not at all act like myself. Instead of being my usual laid back and easy going self, I turned into someone who was overly nervous and over thinking everything vs going with the flow. Lately I have been thinking more about this and in a much broader sense.
Life really is a series of mulligans, of do-overs. You've heard the phrases..if at first you don't succeed, try try again...or how about..if you fall off the horse, pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, and get back in the saddle again, back on the horse. Not only is life a series of do-overs but also learning lessons from those situations. I know I have used my share of mulligans and will be using more in the future.
Perhaps one of the hardest to overcome is that of a marriage that ends in divorce. I know this is the first time I have talked about my divorce openly, at least in this format. I am hoping that by speaking about it, to let you, the reader, understand me a little better and also to learn from my past. I won't call it a mistake because I don't regret it at all. I'll attempt to keep this short because I know I could go on about this. Something tells me I will be taking this offline and just journal on paper.
Looking back over the last 10 years I learned a very valuable lesson, never turn your back on your internal voice. Although, there is a reason for my experiences over the last 10 years. I believe that people are meant to come into your life for a reason and without this having happened, everything else may never have too. No, don't regret anything at all. I am still working through so many emotions I did not expect to have, but am handling them very well.
Why be bitter? That is one thing I don't understand is when a marriage ends in divorce, there is so much bitterness and hatred. Why? Things did not work out for a reason. No reason at all to be bitter, that major negative feeling makes it so you don't move on. Most see the end as a sadness, for me I see it as a happy part of my life.
Happy, yes....This is a new beginning, a new chapter, and an opportunity to truly be happy and share my life with the one man who I truly am meant to be. It would really be unfair to pursue anything serious right now since I am still going through a bit of left over emotions that I just need time to process and let go. I know the man I asked for through meditation is out there, its just a matter of me being ready for him. Of course, I know that when my internal voice speaks up, I will be listening very well.
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